Oooh Baby baby...
I don't remember at what point I started wanting one of my own. At what point did my maternal instincts take over. I cannot put a finger on that moment but I know for sure that this is all I want today and will want for as long as I don't have my baby. And when I do I will not stop wanting another. They are precious... so many thoughts rush through my head when I think of how it will be when I will have a little person in my arms... looking up and thinking I am her/his hero. I know I used to always think my mom was my hero. She still is. There is so much strength in my mother and I think she got that strength as side effects of motherhood. I want to be strong too... just like Mommy. I can't imagine what it must be like to be the world for someone. A is my world... but I am hardly his. His world has so many things going on in it that sometimes I feel tiny in it. So I feel the need to have someone of my own... who will mean the world to me again and who will love me like there is no tomorrow!

Resolutions are made to be broken like promises…

After all aren’t they promises made to self? Every year I make a list of ‘self-made’ promises – just to be kept to myself for about 15 days… and when a fortnight passes with no efforts made, the promises are conveniently forgotten. Only to be remembered at the end of the year. So this year I have a good set of promises – things that I want to do have piled up through the year and all of them have been compiled into one sweet list of resolutions. Here is a brief glimpse of the list

i.Take care of myself – do something nice every day. Even if that involves spending 5 minutes to feel fresh.

ii.Invest sometime every day in arts and hobbies…take the mind off the every day things.

iii.Follow the cleaning schedule to the ‘dot’.

iv.Keep things organized as far as possible.

v.Cut down on the amount of sleep… no one needs 10 hours of sleep!

vi.Do something nice for someone that you can write about.

vii.Fill out and start your PM application.

viii.Think about taking GMAT if PM is not working out.

ix. Save some money for ma and pa!

What? Isn’t that a long enough list?
Ok now moving on to Santa’s list. Although for me Santa is the sweetheart I married -  - no one ever told me not to make a list. What it Santa really exists… atleast he’ll know what I want.
My list for Santa is very simple:

i.A baby

That is it! See I told you it is not scary. No one every trusts anyone these days. Anyway – so since the spirit of Christmas rubs on everyone a little bit here and there – I am taking it upon me to make it as chritmassy as possible for my family.

Are you sure this is development?

We are proud to be Indians – especially given the recent economic development of the country! Measures of development of a country is set against an economic benchmark. Ask any regular middle class or as they prefer to be called these days upper middle class family member and all that has changed is that people ended up with more money. That is because the employers (mostly MNCs) are paying more. That is good – Mr A would say – “this money will trickle down to the poorer people in the society and it will show”. Sure it takes time for anything to trickle down through a billion+ people. Not corruption. Not poverty. Not illiteracy. How has that survived for so long and grown by leaps and bounds? We have seen wonderful developments made in the capital city. New roads – better public transportation systems, the IT hub of the country (Bangalore) is going to make helipads available in the city center to attract investors and VIPs to fly in and out without having to waste hours stranded in traffic. Is that a solution for the general population? We are not getting a helicopter anytime soon – so how is the commute going to look for us… every single day? How am I going to get to the hospital in a life and death emergency?

West Bengal has become a whole different story on its own. Political big guns hire criminals to clean up for them and they are obliged for a meager sum of money. The common people who chose to earn an honest living suffer. Nothing has changed. It is easy to think “nothing has changed” and “nothing ever will”. It is also easy to say something needs to be done. But today we the young and the middle class of India need to do something about it.

All I can do it think about it from thousands of miles away and hope and pray my family is safe and not being affected by this. But isn’t this a trickle effect – will this pain not trickle up or down to us?

“If you undo all the work that you did in the past – you have nullified your existence. Aren’t you back where you started?”

To have and to hold...
A little bit of understanding goes a long way. Life goes through thick and thin and takes us on a roller coaster ride with it. Emotions are not always something we can successfully control. Sometimes it is alright to give in to it and it is then that we turn to see the familiar face next to us and all we look for is a nod. Just to say "I know where you are and where you are coming from". But that, sometimes is the hardest thing to get from someone.
Everything else seems to be an easier option compared to just a little bit of support. Isn't that what relations are based upon? They say trust is the foundation of a good relation. Trust for what? Trust that I will always be there? Trust that I will never let you down? Trust that I won't give up? Can I expect the same trust? Can I trust you to be there for me? Can I trust you to understand me and my emotions? Can I trust you to support and love me always?
These are not questions for me... these are questions everyone who is or is planning to be in a relation for a lifetime should ask. Is there a 'no' hidden in all the 'yes'-es.?

Probably it is too much to ask... or is it?

Long time no see!

Yes, its been a while since I scribbled in here. But believe me - I have been thinking about things... So there is something to look forward to everyday. A special dinner, a new project, work, a new day! Life moves on and there are subtle yet important things that happen everyday...some remembered for years to come and some forgotten in a heart beat! Isn't this the only life we will know? So why is it that we don't end up treasuring every moment of it. Every second brings with it the mystery of the future and the memories of the past...doesn't it? I will never see myself like this again..! I will never wake up next to my better half on this day again! That has to be special...
So anyway.. now that I have managed to convince you and myself that I have been thinking... long story short.. I haven't really found anything outstanding to write about! So that brought me to think - why can't every moment be special? Why does something extra-ordinary-out-of-this-world have to happen to get my attention! So this weekend my yard gets my attention... small things that go un-noticed and fall in the list of trivial things get my attention. Because nothing is trivial and nothing exists without a reason. So lets all try to give every little thing its due importance!

To love or not...

This might be a little too mushy for some - but my hormones are making me mushy today! So you guys get to suffer :). Lately I have been listening to some music that makes me want to curl up with my better half and just lay there. I am not sure what to call this - but have you ever felt like a song or a tune just touches the deepest corner inside you. It doesn't have to be extraordinary music - just some tune that penetrates your skin - mind and soul. It is an amazing feeling that makes you fall in love all over again and remember the reasons why you fell in love in the first place. Amidst all the trivial issues that life hands out everyday we seldom stop to think why we are where we are - what would have been if we didn't have the pillar of strength in our lives. I am not even sure I would have been writing this today. Life is just a little bit better because you are in it... It is not everyday that I acknowledge that. Our ears transfer the happy feeling to our hearts when someone sings praises for us - but how many times in a day have we stopped to say something nice to someone...especially the person that never forgets to shower us with love and affection?
Life will only get busier - does that mean that the person I love the most will get loved less with every passing day?